Death and Life

There is truly no way to put death into words. The only way to describe it is a hole.

 A hole in your heart, a pit of sadness in your stomach, an emptiness in your life, and a spot left open where your lost loved one should be. After losing someone you love, your life feels as if it is split into two different halves: life with your loved one, and life after death.

On Nov. 18, 2012, the town of Antioch lost a beautiful young girl, a 14-year-old freshman at Antioch Community High School Nicole Parfitt, and her father. For Nicole’s mother, Robin, the pain of her losses has never gone away, but instead, it has manifested into something much more positive as Robin works to make Nicole’s legacy live on forever.

Ask anyone who knew Nicole and they will speak of her unwavering positivity, her bubbly personality and her ability to walk into a room and instantly make everyone smile. But when speaking to Robin, it is as if Nicole is still in the room with her.                                                                                                                 

“She left such an impact on us all because of who she was,” Robin Said. “ Nicole loved people. She was full energy, good energy. She was sensitive, strong and passionate. All of the perfect qualities. She had a great sense of humor and, you know, she was always looking to have fun and laugh. It just rubbed off on everyone around. Ever since she was a toddler, I always told her that I was so happy to see that she loved everyone she met and they loved her back. She was everybody’s best friend.”

When Nicole passed away, the world lost an “amazing human being” and a “beautiful young soul.” Many searched for a reason why as Robin struggled to cope with her loss.

“I just kept looking for the purpose and moving forward. I believe that even in tragedies, everything happens for a reason,” Robin said. “I had to take whatever that reason was and find some good in it in order to move forward. It’s hard and it never gets easier, you just start to learn how to hide your pain more. Doing something positive from the tragedy helps; it keeps me strong.”

More than anything, Robin wanted to make sure Nicole’s legacy lived on forever. She remembered the moment in which she was the proudest of Nicole, watching her dance on stage and perform her last solo. Nicole loved to dance more than anything, and in addition to being truly talented at what she did, the true light of Nicole’s personality and passion shined bright whenever she performed.

Somewhere in the midst of the tragedy, Robin realized the perfect way to remember her daughter: a dance studio in her memory. A place where other kids could have the opportunity to experience passion and happiness and dance the way that Nicole did.

“The [dance studio]  happened very quickly,” Robin said. “Once I knew that this was what I wanted to do, I moved forward like a mom on a mission. It seemed like once the idea got in my head there was no stopping me, I was completely determined. It’s funny, because Nicole said to me once, ‘Mom, once you decide to do something, you just never quit.’”

After months of hard work to bring Robin’s dream and Nicole’s legacy to life, Shine Bright Dance Studio opened in Antioch in November 2013, commemorating the first anniversary of Nicole’s death.

Upon walking into the dance studio for the first time, dancers and loved ones of Nicole  describe it as instantly “feeling at home.”  Nicole’s story seems to be written in the walls and the whole studio is nothing short of, as Robin describes it, “the perfect embodiment of her personality.” It is, and will continue to be a place where Nicole’s loved ones can be happy and find solace, much like the happiness Nicole used to radiate onto everyone.

“Shine Bright is her legacy,” Robin said. “She inspired it and everything we do is with Nicole in mind. I want her to have a legacy, because somebody so beautiful inside and out is worth remembering. I tried to take all her best qualities and make something that she would be proud of.”

For a grieving mother to create something so beautiful and positive out of something so negative and tragic is truly inspirational. For Robin, it is her remaining family and the loving memories of Nicole and her husband that she keeps so close to help her remain strong.

“A lot of my strength comes from my son,” Robin said. “I’m strong for him. I can’t fall apart on him, even though it would be so easy to do.”

The impact Shine Bright Dance Studio has left on Antioch’s community is a positive one. Robin created an outlet for those who knew Nicole, as well as those who didn’t. Even more positive than the studio’s impact on Antioch, though, is Nicole’s impact. Although those who knew Nicole will forever be missing a piece of their hearts, the love she left on this Earth is never ending.

“Nicole had such a love for life in such a positive way,” Robin said. “She had so much to offer the world and a long lifetime ahead of her, and it was cut too short. It’s so sad that we didn’t get more of her. The amount of love she had for life just makes it that much more tragic for all of us to lose her.”

For Robin, the only way to pay tribute to such a unique and wonderful personality was to remember and celebrate her life. Nicole’s vivacity and the instant happiness she gave to every person she met forever changed the lives of Robin, as well as the rest of Nicole’s friends, family and the Antioch community as they continue living and loving life after her death