Crazy Star Wars Theories: Part One

“Star Wars” is one of the most popular movie series of all time, so with so many fans, people are bound to make up some odd theories.

  1.  Qui-Gon Jinn was secretly a Sith Lord this whole time.
    • The Jedi master may appear to fill the same role in the prequels that Obi-Wan himself filled for the original trilogy: the wise old guiding mentor who trains a young upstart but ultimately perishes because of it. However, many fans theorize that rather than just being another cookie cutter old mentor, Qui-Gon Jinn was secretly controlling all of the bad things that happened around him, including Senator Palpatine. This theory is backed by the fact that Qui-Gon Jinn was trained by Count Dooku himself, one of the main villains of the prequel trilogy. Qui-Gon Jinn also urges the Jedi Council to train Anakin Skywalker despite the fact that he knew Anakin had hate, fear and suffering in his heart: something completely against the Jedi teachings. Unfortunately for Qui-Gon Jinn, outside of the plot of the movies, in the “Star Wars” expanded universe, he also had an apprentice who turned to the Dark Side. Every Jedi around Qui-Gon Jinn except Obi-Wan seems to turn to the Dark Side. Fans insist he is either the most oblivious Jedi ever, or he was influencing the fall of so many of these other Jedi.
  2. Luke’s Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru weren’t killed by Stormtroopers.
    • In an iconic movie shot, Luke stands in the ruin of his former home, his family killed and disintegrated, their corpses still smoking, his heroic journey about to begin. Obi-Wan tells Luke that “only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise,” so completely disintegrating people when they could just shoot them seems a little out of character. In the “Star Wars” movies, people get blown up, thrown into space and have limbs cut off, but none have the grisly onscreen deaths that Owen and Beru receive. Fans have also uncovered, in Special Features, that Boba Fett was present on Tatooine at the time of their deaths. In another well known scene in “The Empire Strikes Back,” when Darth Vader is giving the bounty hunters orders, he specifically tells Boba Fett “No disintegrations.” If Boba Fett hadn’t disintegrated anyone in the past, there would be no need to specifically instruct him not to in the future. This evidence has lead fans to conclude that it wasn’t Stormtroopers at all, but Boba Fett who killed Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.
  3. Han Solo is Force Sensitive.
    • Many fans call Han Solo the luckiest guy in the series, and they may be right. Some, however, believe that Han’s luck isn’t mere coincidence but the work of the Force guiding him. Throughout the “Star Wars” series, Han has survived being shot at, frozen in carbonite, freezing Hoth temperatures, nearly being eaten by a sarlacc, actually being eaten by an exogorth, fighting the Empire, and an entire asteroid field, despite C-3P0’s insistence that the odds of that are 3720 to one. In “A New Hope,” even before he and Greedo faced off, Han is prepared to fire back, and he leans out of the way of Greedo’s shot almost naturally, while Greedo himself ends up a charred husk. Fans believe this to be more than instinct; Han anticipates Greedo’s actions and retaliates almost immediately. Fans also cite the fact George Lucas himself edited this scene to enforce their point. Despite the fact that Han claims in “Episode IV” that “There’s no mystical energy field that controls my destiny,” the Force does not require belief to have an affect. Obi-Wan Kenobi knows this fact, and fans even believe that he know about Han’s force sensitivity because he smiles knowingly after Han’s line.
  4. Ewoks are actually horrifying.
    1. Fans seem to be split on opinions of the Ewoks. However, whatever the opinion, fans can agree that Ewoks play a big role in the original “Star Wars” trilogy. When the second Death Star exploded, the Ewoks throw the heroes a party and the whole trilogy wraps up with a song. Fans point out, however, that many parties have dancing, music, and food. What do Ewoks eat? Many fans have a theory based on an earlier plot point, the Ewoks tie up Han, Chewbacca and Luke to sacrifice to C-3P0, who they worship as their god. They start their sacrifice by tying up the heroes, and preparing to roast them over an open fire.  This series of events cause fans to suggest that Ewoks eat people. If anyone falls into their traps, they get a good meal. Fortunately, this mess was cleared up before Han, Chewbacca, and Luke could be eaten. Fans then raise the question: who do the Ewoks eat later? The answer can be found in the iconic scene where the Ewoks begin their song by playing a beat on Stormtrooper helmets. Stormtroopers wouldn’t give up their helmets and join the Rebel Alliance, so fans have concluded that the Ewoks stole the Stormtrooper helmets and other valuables, then ate their bodies for the feast. “Star Wars” fans have then concluded that the Ewoks weren’t in fact celebrating the fall of the Empire, they were celebrating the fact that they just received hundreds of pounds of food . The Ewoks are a primitive tribe that worshiped C-3P0 when they first encountered the heroes, so they probably weren’t invested enough in the politics of the Empire to realize what was happening.

“[Ewoks are] adorable,” sophomore Emily Gardner said. “As long as they stay adorable I’m fine.”