Sequoit to Sequoit: Thinking vs Feeling
Thinking and feeling are natural human tendencies, but in hardships one may either put their feelings first or try to think more logically.
October 15, 2019
Although thinking is a good skill to acquire, it can also be my enemy when I am faced with a tough decision. I ensure that I put my feelings to the side and think my difficulties through with logic. By doing this, my end result is the most logical choice for my future, although it oftentimes may not make me the absolute happiest.
Although I am only a sophomore, I constantly feel the pressures of deciding what I am going to do for the rest of my life and what legacy I want to leave. When making this decision a feeler may consider their passions in life. To evaluate my future career logically, instead of asking myself “What job will make me feel like I’m not working a day in my life?”, I inevitably ask myself “What job will allow me to be financially stable for my future family?” Of course my feelings still play a role in my decision making process, but they are often overshadowed by my logical thoughts.
Although overthinking can be a damaging habit to have, my thought process allows me to protect myself; my thoughts act as a barrier between my feelings and I.
For example, if I’m experiencing a loss in life, perhaps a friend, instead of letting my feelings get to me, I try to evaluate the situation with both logic and positivity. I think about the lessons I have learned and how this loss can allow me to grow in the future. If I was not so much of a thinker these losses would overwhelm me with negative emotions.
I often feel that there is a stigma with thinkers. Many people believe that thinkers do not have emotions, are more cruel and do not carry compassion. However, everyone possesses emotions; thinkers use logic over their feelings to steer their decisions. When I am heavily thinking about a decision my goal is to choose the option that is best for my future, rather than letting my emotions in that moment get the best of me.
Especially as I mature, I purposefully try to think more and feel less. Back when I was young I was influenced to follow my heart, as a feeler would. I was told that I could do and be anything if I dreamt it. As I grew older, I slowly realized that I will not accomplish anything if I only focus on dreams; I learned that goals are met when people work for them.
Although I do find it beautiful and brave to let your feelings guide you, I am the type of person that needs a more organized way to live. Letting my feelings guide me would be like blindfolding me and instructing me to sprint at full speed in a cluttered room.
There are a few circumstances when I put my feelings first, but when I do it is usually very hard for me. A prime example of this is when I study or do homework for long periods of time with no breaks. Logically, I know I have to get work done to meet the deadline. However, I will listen to my feelings and realize that I will feel less stressed if I take a break.
Thinking allows me to protect myself and help guide me to future success. Despite the passion and bravery feelers possess, I prefer going the safer and more logical route to hopefully create a better future for myself.
I feel as though people think having emotions is embarrassing and expressing their feelings without thought makes them weak. There seems to always be something wrong when you try to speak with your heart. If you cry, you are pathetic and nothing you say makes any sense. If you are angry, then your opinions are invalid, and you should talk only after you have calmed down. If you are annoyed, then you are just upset that someone struck a nerve, so you should just shut up and move on.
It is numbingly painful to try and think before I open my mouth. Normal conversations, whether they may be part of a conflict or just day-to-day talk, should not have to be planned out like that three page essay I write in English class. Having feelings is a natural part of life, and is what makes us human.
Everyone, in one way or another, feels a variety of things throughout the day like: being happy that you get to see your significant other, or getting upset that your friend cut you off while you were speaking. Even when you are alone in your room, no matter what you are doing, you are feeling something.
To feel is to be alive. To feel helps me know I have air in my lungs and blood in my veins. To feel is to know that sometimes my heart is the part of me that is doing the thinking. Not every part of my day has to be taken apart and analyzed within a matter of seconds before I am able to figure out a response in a way that will displease the least amount of people.
They are what make me, me.
Whether it be a good choice or not, I tend to live by them anyways. I usually try to think about things before I do them, but for some reason when I feel emotions, I feel them so strongly that they are the only thing I can think about. I get quiet when my friends make certain jokes about the things I enjoy because yes, it is normal for us to joke around with each other but that doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t crack a little bit. I cry when I watch certain scenes of a show, because even though they are only fictional characters, I still feel a surreal sense of connection and sympathy towards them. I yell at the people I care about when they say something that makes me angry because I feel like that’s the natural thing to do.
I’ll be one to admit that allowing my words to form before my brain has the time to think them out does not always end well. There are still scars of regret on my heart from times I lashed out at the people I love, and I am sure there are things I have said to them that they too, will never be able to get out of their head.
So maybe thinking is the better way to go in order to not hurt others. To me, feeling is a natural instinct we don’t even know we are doing until it hits us full force. Because of how strongly I feel towards certain things and situations, it is normal for me to say that people should not be ashamed of having feelings. It is what makes each of us unique, and will continue to make us unique as we live our lives.