Fake or Future

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Branden Gallimore

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Love Noun An intense feeling of deep affection.

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Fake or Future

Love may have a specific definition, but people see it many different ways. Some may believe that love is what makes the world go around. People may think love is easy to obtain, or others may feel it is impossible to find. Many know that one couple that is deeply in love with each other, whether it be grandparents, parents or their friends. On the contrast, many also know of that couple that fell apart, or never worked out at all. Not everyone is made for love, just like not everyone is made to be the next president or pop star. Some people decide to let life fall in place without searching for the one, but some are always soul searching for a significant other. At one point or another, when someone thinks they found “the one,” how do they know for sure whether or not the affection and care will last between them? A lot of the time in a relationship, both sides do not know if they will last forever or crumble apart over time; they always find themselves asking: “Is this love fake? Or is it the future?”

Finding the one can sometimes seem impossible. A lot of those that get married think it’s to the one that will always be there for them, supporting and loving them, but according to Psychology Today, 40 to 50 percent of those marriages are expected to end in divorce; therefore, deciphering if a relationship is fake or not is important before it’s too late. Usually, someone can tell if a relationship is going to work out or not from the start.

“If you start a relationship off slowly and don’t jump into things right away you start to build a foundation of truth,” junior Eli Vanderwagen said. “Then your relationship will usually last longer.”

Starting a relationship out slow, using baby steps as some may say, can work for couples, but not every couple is the same. Just like how not everyone may be a fan of the New England Patriots or barbeque flavored Lays, all people have different methods of finding and maintaining love than others.

“You just gotta really look for the emotions and feelings others portray to the meaning of the relationship,” senior Nathaniel Baldwin said. “Once someone starts being short with you then you have to be prepared for things to come to an end.”

Those who want to find love need to first learn how to be independent and feel content with themselves before giving their all to their partner. Supporting a significant other is very important, but prior to this it is important to be able to support oneself because if a relationship flourishes, then they have to be able to cope and take matters into their own hands without a total breakdown. Having these traits are a good indication that someone is ready to give their all to someone else.

“Signs of a relationship that will last would be the people within the relationship don’t have to depend on the other person for everything,” junior Hannah Moll said. “They both can be independent on their own.”

Having a safety net is always a good idea, no matter the situation. If there’s no way to succeed without moving on, then no one will be willing to take risks. And sometimes, the greatest risks people take are on others, which may not always be the best idea. It’s true that finding a diamond in the rough does happen, but knowing that other person along with what they want in a relationship is the most important part.

“You can tell if a relationship is going to last or not by knowing the intentions of your significant other in the relationship and what they want out of it,” junior Rachel Phillips said.

At points life can be scary—the intimidation of others, the idea of not knowing something for sure or even the suspense of mystery. But, with relationships, the scariest part is not knowing whether or not a new relationship will close doors with other relationships or friendships.

“Sometimes when people get in a relationship with someone they forget about their friends that have been with them from the start,” Moll said. “They can sometimes ruin their past friendships.

But, with relationships comes sacrifices. Those sacrifices may be time with friends or family, or something else, but these sacrifices should only reach a certain extent. Never should someone surrender their happiness, peace of mind or rights. If issues occur outside of the boundaries, Baldwin likes to use the UAM method—understand, accept and move on.

“These are the three things people must do to keep a relationship going,” Baldwin said. “Jealousy, holding onto things, and losing ties will cause a relationship to come to a close rather quickly.”

Most people aspire to live life with a meaning behind it. So, why not build relationships with meaning? If there is no meaning and care behind a couple, then it will surely collapse. Having goals in mind and wanting something is a great mindset to have.

“Don’t be in a relationship just to be in one,” Phillips said. “Be in a relationship because you want to.”

Wasting time in a relationship that crashed and burned can be one of the worst feelings there is, but being able to find signs of a relationship that is prone to this is key. If one side of a relationship is all in, but the other isn’t sure what they want, then there is no fairy tale ending for it.

“If both people in a relationship are willing to give 110 percent then it’s definitely worth their time,” Moll said. “It will build and develop into a great and healthy relationship that’s worth being in.”

The world may be seen as revolving around love, but if there is no care between two partners, the love will never exist, therefore ending early. Having a strong, steady relationship is only possible with equal effort, care, love and happiness.

“Relationships are all about care, love and giving,” Baldwin said. “Both partners must respect the others needs so if one is more pushy and wants the relationship to last longer than it should it could cause problems.”

In high school, relationships can obviously go one way or the other, depending on the couple. There’s always two sides to relationships—the side that has care and hopes, and the side that feels like more of a job than anything. Most relationships in high school do not work out, usually because of both parts of the partnership moving on to different places like school and work, but there is the occasional couple that makes it last. High schoolers lives can be hectic, but one thing is for sure: love is necessary, but maybe not between each other.

“If your relationship didn’t work out it happened that way for a reason so don’t give up on finding the right person for you and never change who you are for someone else,” Phillips said. “You have to love yourself before you love anyone else.”

Relationships for a teenager can be a positive to learn and gain new experience in life. A lot of those in relationship love the security of knowing they’ll always have that one person they can rely on to always be there for them. But, in order to make anything work between two people, it is important that those two get everything with themselves straight before coming close with another. But, with everything in life, patience is a virtue.

“Everyone has someone out there for them,” Baldwin said. “If you don’t find that person in high school, it’s not the end of the world.”

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