Let Bygones be Bygones

1. Do not dwell on things. 2. Forget about things that are unimportant.

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John Petty

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Let Bygones be Bygones

Over the course of one’s life, there will be exciting times that make wonderful memories for the future. Happiness is unlimited and can be the result of any type of satisfaction, whether it is a small occurrence or a life-changing event. Happiness gives life meaning and makes everyday efforts worthwhile. Yet, no matter how many high points one experiences, there will also be low points that challenge him or her. No matter how many memories are favorable, adversity is something that is inevitable, and, like happiness, it comes in different forms for each person.

It may not be easy, but finding a way to bounce back is the only way to keep living a desirable life. Letting things go is difficult for most people as they are forced with a decision that, in many respects, feels uncontrollable. It is true that when dealing with adversity the subject can either be affected greatly as the situation progresses and essentially lose control of the situation, or they can choose to move on in a positive fashion. This was something that junior Jaden Rodriguez felt as he witnessed his parents splitting up when he was young.

“My parents got divorced when I was fairly young,” Rodriguez said. “I was only eight, and at that time, still figuring out who I am and what I like.

It was evident that he would be facing adversity in the coming months, with little direction on where to go. It was also evident that because this was happening at such a young age, he knew no other way to grow up other than assuming these types of parental issues were the norm. Whether he knew it or not, his current situation would affect him for the rest of his life, but it was up to him as to what he would do mentally with the issues and what his outlook would be like.

“My parents would constantly argue with each other and I didn’t understand why,” Rodriguez said. “Eventually, when I was told they were splitting up for good, I was even more more confused and devastated.”

It was clear that at first Rodriguez would have nowhere to turn, as both his parents were essentially “part of the problem.” It was also an issue that when trying to resolve internal conflicts. Rodriguez felt he didn’t want to turn to one parent over the other especially right away. After all, his parents gave him all he had, especially in his early life, and who was he to choose which was more important to go to for advice? He didn’t want to betray one parent over conflicts that involved both. He even blamed himself for what was happening and for the arguments his parents were having.

“Over time I started to realize that I couldn’t change the past when being upset or frustrated with the whole situation didn’t change anything,” Rodriguez said. “I would go from house to house, being caught in the middle of arguments, and hearing things I probably shouldn’t be, especially at that age, Rodriguez said. “I learned to cope with it by talking to my dad and he explained to me that it’s okay when someone can’t control certain things.”

Even in his early stages of adolescence, Rodriguez was the victim of a situation that was life-altering, which was to the magnitude that even many adults never experience. He was also seeing first-hand how if he chose to be upset about where he was, he would never get over it. In the same breath, he saw that not panicking would allow him to relax a little and let life come each day, even if it wasn’t perfect. His conversations with his dad taught him a valuable lesson, one that he attributes to the positive attitude he focuses on today.

“I think it’s important to let bygones be bygones and not stress the little things because by doing that, you can focus on yourself or whatever it is you need to,” Rodriguez said. “It’s important to live in the present, not the past, and to not stress about the future.”

To let bygones be bygones is to have the realization that it is impossible to change the past. It also means to always focus on what is important and not worrying about little things enough to lose control. It is obvious that at a very young age Rodriguez was thrown into a situation that he had no idea how to control, partially because he had never seen anything like it before, but also because he knew no other childhood. He felt as though his parents were controlling his happiness, or lack-thereof, as he was left clueless about the whole situation. 

Rodriguez was guided towards a positive attitude by his father in the slow resolution of acceptance. For the most part, he was able to remain in control of his life and he has also learned what it meant to believe in people and to find light in the darkness. He mentioned before that he thinks it is important to not be too affected by the past, because he, nor anyone, else can change it.  Rodriguez believes that it wasn’t a good idea to stress over little things that hold no weight in the grand scheme of life. He is a prime example of a believer and a success story, a person who has no problem letting bygones be bygones.

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