What your water bottle says about you

Everybody carries a water bottle for their own personal reasons but why do you?


Emma Wagner

Everybody uses a different water bottle, but what does that say about them?

Green Gatorade Bottle: If you use a green Gatorade bottle— you are an athlete, but stuck in middle school. You are obnoxious when using it by spraying people and probably think you are better than everyone; you also try to see how far you can spray it towards your face until you make an unwanted mess. 

Gatorade bottle with pod lid: If you use a Gatorade bottle with a pod-accessible lid, you are a fall sport athlete who follows the green Gatorade bottle athletes. You are a trend follower, definitely a follower, not a leader. 

Owala: Using an Owala makes you either a trend starter or a follower depending on when you started using it. Most likely a former Hydroflask user before switching over. You definitely love all the fun colors and your personality reflects that by being a bubbly and extroverted person. 

Blender Bottle: If you use a blender bottle you are a wanna-be gym rat who lives off of pre-workout. Never has just water in it. You are always shaking it and dropping it; drawing attention to the fact that your water bottle has a spring ball in it. Also, you never stop talking about the gym.

Yeti: If you use a Yeti, you definitely give off soccer mom vibes or a corporate dad who never gets off the phone. It’s either only filled with water or iced coffee and nothing in between. 

Stanley: If you use a Stanley, you are easily influenced. You only bought it so it would fit into your car cup holder, or because it was cute and you convinced yourself that it would make you drink more water. You also carry it around as an accessory to your outfit.

Hydroflask: If you use a Hydroflask it has probably become your emotional support water bottle- sporting tons of dents or discolored and peeling-off stickers. You never wash it because it is rarely ever filled with anything but water and when it is something other than water, you think about washing it after. You really need to wash it.

Plastic water bottle: If you use plastic water bottles the label is definitely torn off of it and you have been using it for over a week, you just keep refilling it. It definitely might have lukewarm water in it at all times and is crinkly. You constantly twist it and make noise with it, just very obnoxious.